


Being Who We Are

by YvngLova



Category: stony - Fandom
Genre: Love fluff smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 22:38:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13727454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YvngLova/pseuds/YvngLova
Summary: Steve’s slowly submitting to his crippling depression, while Tony works as his anchor to keep him grounded, Tony had grown to have feelings for the taller man and he couldn't help but be there for him.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve sighed as he let his head fall hard on the table. His body shook hard with broken sobs. “Steve?” Tony came up behind him placing a hand on his back, a look of concern on his face as he rubbed circles on his captains back. His hand then went to his hair rubbing softly onto Steve’s scalp. He was surprised when he found himself in Steve’s tight grip that was clinging to him, Steve’s breathing had become erratic, his sobbing was the saddest thing in the world to hear, Tony continued to play in his hair and his body shuddered before he took a deep breath to calm himself down. “It’s ok, you don’t need to talk to me right now if you don’t want to, you can simply get up, straighten your shoulders and continue to be the soldier you were before you came here tonight.” Tony said soothingly patting Captain on the shoulders. Steve stood and nodded, exiting the building with his normal posture. “Who does he think he is coming in here and reducing me to ball of emotions.” Tony said sipping the drink he had placed on the counter. He left it unfinished and ditched the Gala, he had a bad feeling about Steve being alone right now, he didn’t know the cause of this and he didn’t want to take any chances. 

After asking Clint to cover for him if someone asked for him, he got in his car and sped off in the direction of The Avengers Tower. “JARVIS?” He called out. “Yes sir?” His A1 chimed in. “Is Steve home yet?” He asked. “Yes sir he went straight to the gym upon his arrival.” The A1 answered. “Is he exercising?” Tony asked. “He seems to be having some sort of mental breakdown.” The A1 said. “Tell him I’m on my way.” Tony said eyes locked on his destination. 

Tony rushed inside his home and made his way straight to the gym. “Steve?” He called out. “Cap?” He said. He heard a loud smashing sound as he turned on his heel he saw Captain yanking his hand free from the cement wall, trickles of blood flowing down his knuckles. “Oh Steve..” Tony sighed, walking up close to Steve bringing him down into a hug. “It’s alright, let me bandage your hand.” Tony said taking Steve’s hand in his own leading him to his level of the tower. “Why are you in this state? If you don’t mind me asking..” Tony finally said. “Do you ever feel like everyone knows everything about you? But they don’t..not really, and that’s one side of you that no one ever asks about,but you so desperately hate being alone in it?” Steve asked. “Steve you know you never have to be alone in anything,” Tony said. “But yes, I know there’s something that no one knows about, but that’s just how I kept it, Like you said everyone knows everything about me, all of my talents, my background with my father. But there’s one thing no one knows I’m capable of, well other than Clint, and that’s just because he caught me.” Tony smiled at the memory and how ridiculous it was. “What is it?” Steve asked. “I’ll make you a deal, if I share with you, you have to return the favor.” Tony said. “Sure, of course.” Steve answered. “Not here, my room.” Tony said. “It’s soundproof.” Tony said opening the large door. “Welcome to my humble adobe.” He joked walking to the bathroom to grab his first aid kit and returning. “Sit on the bed big guy.” He said motioning towards the bed, Tony had loosened his tie and untucked his shirt leaving his jacket hung over a chair in the far corner. “You see that bookshelf over there? It used to be a bar, but I’m recovering and I’m doing pretty damn good if you ask me.” Tony said smiling to himself. “That’s so good Tony, I’m proud of you.” Steve said handing his hand over to Tony, hissing at the sting from the alcohol and peroxide. Tony applied some ointment and bandaged it. “Tony?” Steve said suddenly. “Hmm” Tony answered. “That thing?” Steve said with raised eyebrows. “Oh right.” Tony said. “JARVIS” He said simply and music came on. Tony stayed in front of Steve, as he begin to sing in the most beautiful voice Steve has ever heard. 

“Long afloat on shipless oceans  
I did all my best to smile  
'Til your singing eyes and fingers  
Drew me loving to your isle  
And you sang  
Sail to me  
Sail to me  
Let me enfold you”

Tony seemed like he was singing directly to Steve, Steve’s mouth hung open and Tony smiled down at him, it was the most affectionate smile Steve has ever had the great pleasure of being in the receiving end of. Tony continued.

“Here I am  
Here I am  
Waiting to hold you  
Did I dream you dreamed about me?  
Were you here when I was forced out  
Now my foolish boat is leaning  
Broken lovelorn on your rocks  
For you sing, "Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow  
Oh my heart, Oh my heart shies from the sorrow"

Steve didn’t realize he was crying until Tony wiped his tears away with his thumbs. Tony’s voice could cure cancer in Steve’s opinion. It reduced Steve to sobs and tears.

“Well I'm as puzzled as the newborn child  
I'm as riddled as the tide  
Should I stand amid the breakers?  
Or should I lie with death, my bride?  
Hear me sing, "Swim to me, swim to me, let me enfold you  
Here I am, here I am, waiting to hold you"

The music faded out and Tony gave Steve a shy smile before retreating from in front of Steve, but to his surprise Steve wasn’t ready for him to go, grabbing his hand and pulling him back hard enough for Tony to fall in his lap. Steve was going to say something, he needed to, but the only thing his body managed to do was capture Tony’s lips in his own.


	2. Chapter 2

The kiss was much more surprising to Tony than being placed in Steve’s lap, he was enjoying both nonetheless. He soon found himself laying down on his bed, back pressed hard against the mattress as Steve pinned him down and kissed him into oblivion, He broke away for a breath of air before tearing Tony’s shirt open kissing softly and slowly on Tony’s chest before making his way up to Tony’s neck where he kissed and sucked gently, causing small sounds to escape Tony’s throat. “Wait. Steve Wait.” Tony finally said after realizing what exactly was happening. Steve stopped and looked at him. “I’ve waited too long for this moment to have it only be a spur of the moment.” Tony said with his face going slightly red. “You’re right. I’m sorry Tony.” Steve said looking down at his hands defeated. “Why don’t you tell me your thing” Tony said patting the spot next to him, although Steve had other plans, he laid his head on Tony’s chest while the rest of his body lay neatly between Tony’s legs. Tony smiled as his hands automatically found refuge in Steve’s hair. He felt Steve take a deep breath. “Before the ice, I had depression, bad depression. I’m still the same guy before the ice Tony, and it’s almost crippling now. I try and keep a straight posture and my head on my shoulders for the team, You’re the only person who notices my breaking apart, I’m truly happy to have had you on the team, without you I don’t know what i would’ve done. I can’t help but hate myself, every since I was child I was physically and verbally abused by both my parents, I self harmed at eight years old up until I was 17 and all I remember is looking at myself in the mirror wondering why am I doing this to myself, but then my dad would come and call me a waste of air and he wished he would’ve pulled out, and that I was supposed to be swallowed. Then I would go oh right that’s why. I felt worthless, then I met Bucky, he took me in and cared for me like I was his brother, his family, and I watched him fall to his death, I can’t help but think I was there I watched him there must’ve been something I could’ve done, my mother used to burn me with cigarettes and irons, she used to-“ Steve broke off into sobs. “Use me...saying that I was only ever gonna be good for that one particular thing, that I was stupid and stupid people never made it far. I’m a broken man Tony Stark. I’m a broken man in a foreign and confusing world, I find myself wishing that this is all just a dream and I’m still frozen in the ice never to be found, to be left alone. I’ve never had a break in my life whether it was my parents, or homophobic assholes in movie alleys or school. I was always beaten up, I always failed. I’m so tired. I just want to rest for one day, but I owe it to the people to protect them. I have to be strong and I hate this fucking serum! It came with too many responsibilities, all I wanted to do was help fight for the country, I’d rather die like that instead of killing myself, or my dad, or my mom, or some random asshole. I wanted my death to mean something. Now I’m stuck fighting a war that never seems to fucking end!” Steve said his tears wetting Tony’s chest as he sobbed and his body tensed. “Shh, you don’t have to say anymore Steve I understand you, God I couldn’t understand you more, but I need you to know that it’s okay to not be okay, it’s okay to cry. If you feel that you need someone I’m here and will always be here, if you ever need me Steve please come find me if I’m not already by your side. You don’t have to be or feel alone. I can relate to your past, I can relate so well it’s almost scary.” Tony said rubbing Steve’s back as he still shook. They fell asleep like that, in each other’s arms and Steve resting between Tony’s legs. That morning Tony woke up with Steve still sound asleep in between his legs. He stretched and yawned careful to not wake Steve. He looked way too peaceful to wake up. Tony simply grabbed his phone and scrolled through some business emails before coming up with a brilliant plan. He was going to build an art studio right on Steve’s level of the building. It was perfect, that should cheer Steve up for a little bit, it probably would be useful and helpful as well, Tony knows that’s how Steve copes, his artwork and he was going to have a much bigger canvas now. Tony was brought out of his thoughts by Steve shifting. “Morning sleepyhead.” Tony said softly. “Did you sleep fine?” He asked. “I slept like a baby for the first time since I got back from the ice.” Steve smiled, picking himself up with his arms as he crawled closer to Tony’s face planting a nice warm morning kiss to his lips. “How did this happen again?” Tony quirked, a smile etched on his face. “I think you’re perfect.” Steve smiled. “I think you’re a fucking masterpiece.” Tony giggled and blushed kissing Steve’s nose. “I didn’t know you were such a sap, but it’s really adorable.” Steve said snuggling into Tony. “I caught something you said last night.” Steve said. “And it was?” Tony asked raising an eyebrow. “You said you were waiting, for that moment between us.” Steve said. “Oh right..” Tony said face apple red now. “Well Steve, when I first laid eyes on you, I was just thinking wow he’s freaking hot, but then you opened your mouth, and it was the most amazing thing to hear. You were so defiant, strong, and smart, always ready to make a plan and can make pretty damn good ones in the least amount of time, You scream leader, and although that’s a lot of pressure, being leader all the time, I don’t think anyone else fits the status.” Tony said kissing Steve’s forehead. “I think you’re perfect Steven Grant Rogers, I think you’re perfect and there’s nothing that can put a dent in what I believe in.” He said. “Thank you Tony, if you don’t mind me asking.. could you sing to me again?” Steve asked face going red. “Of course.” Tony chuckled. “JARVIS play the instrumental to say you won’t let go by James Arthur.” Tony instructed. “As you wish sir.” JARVIS then played the music. Tony begin singing and Steve sighed and relaxed into him again. God the feelings that was coursing through him, he almost felt it in his very skin, that may have just been the goosebumps Tony’s voice brought to him.

_“I knew I loved you then But you'd never know 'Cause I played it cool when I was scared of letting go I know I needed you But I never showed But I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old”_

Steve let the words engulf him as he sank more into Tony. For the first time I’m so long, he felt content, he felt safe, and that he could trust Tony. His heart ached harshly from all the emotions, he realized that he desperately wanted Tony to be his. Officially his. “Tony?” Steve said. “Hmm?” Tony hummed. “Can I court you?” Steve asked. “Well duh you big baboon” Tony said earning a smack on the hip from Steve leaving him in a fit of laughter.


End file.
